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Fress Maal - Invoice
Posted by Frozy
on
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Fress Maal - Invoice
Invoice
Fresss
maal
All figures in Indian Rupee
I was lying on my bed and my room mate was talking about one of his friends who had sex with a leading actress of a regional language. Suddenly, just like you are now, I was all ears. My sleepiness and laziness vanished into thin air in seconds and I sat upright in my bed. What's more interesting than someone getting hooked? We male species are selfless creatures in this particular area. My room mate was still in his dream world and was sleep talking 1.25 lakhs! How to make 1.25 lakhs? My curiosity overpowered me and I was poking him asking what the money was for. He was like; my friend paid 1.25 lakhs to have sex with her, still in his hallucination.
I was shocked. How can someone do this? This is atrocious. Blasphemy. I am 27 and I never got to do a film actress! This is unfair. And 1.25 lakhs is not a big amount these days. If I stopped drinking tea, I could easily have 1.25 lakhs in a couple of month's time. That too for a leading lady in southern movies! For one second, her curves and bends filled my brain. For more clarity I googled her and there she was, filling my entire 15 inch monitor. Stopping tea may not be that bad after all. Tea board can go to hell. But some other questions were raising its snake like heads all over my mind. How come she is charging so high? Or is it too low? I have absolutely nothing to compare it with because I never had paid sex. I never gave money (neither received, for that matter) in exchange for having sex. But if you think about the number of times I ogled at girls, I would be in serious financial problems, worse than the American food crisis.
I kept on wondering like this for some time. Then suddenly a thought struck me. Should I charge if I am having sex? Don't laugh now. This is a serious blog. Obviously I am no leading hero of any Malayalam movie. My acting talents are worse than Himesh Reshamiya's! It's hard to recognize any bend in my body. It's more like a super express high way with one pot hole here and one there. Moe even wrote a post after my two holes. Therefore, the two areas that are coming to my mind are paid-sex and non paid-sex. Non paid-sex sounds like free sex, which is worse. It makes me feel cheap so paid sex it should be. It's more like a service you know.
So iLanders, I am trying to get how these people arrive at their pricing band. I will try to put all my MBA skills (financial and otherwise) to good use here.
The question is how much should I charge if I were in her position. Don't go literally now. Of course 1.25 lakhs is not for me. I start the price at an amicable 30K compared to a whopping 1.25 lakhs. Since I am a guy (I AM, really!) have to do more work than her in such a scenario so I start at a premium. 25K for my personal work efforts. 30+25 = 75K
Point two: I am a virgin in this field. By field I mean, paid sex! That should command a higher value. Come on, I have seen so many B grade movies. Virgins are always in demand, including our own Virgin at Thirty (VAT)! Just look how many girls like him. So up goes the amount by additional 50K. (My experience on non paid sex? No comments). Now price = 1.25 lakhs (I am actually equaling her!)
Now the question of being ethical in this. Of course I agree this is a service. But should I be paying service tax for this? If some Govt. officials come to know about this, they might want a share of my service. Err. No. I will be an honest tax paying individual. Add 10K towards the tax and the price becomes 1.35 lakh. (Ooh! I EXCEEDED HER! UNBELIEVABLE!)
Then comes when and where? I think it's better to be after 9 PM. My vital stat is not much of a wow. So good if we can do it in the shadows. I am ok with any place as long as I am paid (I think!)
Thus I offer my services at 1.35 lakh rupees. It is for a single night. Conditions apply. No whips allowed inside the room. Only girls need to apply. Protection devices are provided on the house.
Frozen Sun
PS: I am a Mallu with a weird sense of humor. This is all a joke. Nothing serious! I repeat, never take me seriously on iLand. But if someone really thinks she can give me a lakh, I may alter this PS section.
I was lying on my bed and my room mate was talking about one of his friends who had sex with a leading actress of a regional language. Suddenly, just like you are now, I was all ears. My sleepiness and laziness vanished into thin air in seconds and I sat upright in my bed. What's more interesting than someone getting hooked? We male species are selfless creatures in this particular area. My room mate was still in his dream world and was sleep talking 1.25 lakhs! How to make 1.25 lakhs? My curiosity overpowered me and I was poking him asking what the money was for. He was like; my friend paid 1.25 lakhs to have sex with her, still in his hallucination.
I was shocked. How can someone do this? This is atrocious. Blasphemy. I am 27 and I never got to do a film actress! This is unfair. And 1.25 lakhs is not a big amount these days. If I stopped drinking tea, I could easily have 1.25 lakhs in a couple of month's time. That too for a leading lady in southern movies! For one second, her curves and bends filled my brain. For more clarity I googled her and there she was, filling my entire 15 inch monitor. Stopping tea may not be that bad after all. Tea board can go to hell. But some other questions were raising its snake like heads all over my mind. How come she is charging so high? Or is it too low? I have absolutely nothing to compare it with because I never had paid sex. I never gave money (neither received, for that matter) in exchange for having sex. But if you think about the number of times I ogled at girls, I would be in serious financial problems, worse than the American food crisis.
I kept on wondering like this for some time. Then suddenly a thought struck me. Should I charge if I am having sex? Don't laugh now. This is a serious blog. Obviously I am no leading hero of any Malayalam movie. My acting talents are worse than Himesh Reshamiya's! It's hard to recognize any bend in my body. It's more like a super express high way with one pot hole here and one there. Moe even wrote a post after my two holes. Therefore, the two areas that are coming to my mind are paid-sex and non paid-sex. Non paid-sex sounds like free sex, which is worse. It makes me feel cheap so paid sex it should be. It's more like a service you know.
So iLanders, I am trying to get how these people arrive at their pricing band. I will try to put all my MBA skills (financial and otherwise) to good use here.
The question is how much should I charge if I were in her position. Don't go literally now. Of course 1.25 lakhs is not for me. I start the price at an amicable 30K compared to a whopping 1.25 lakhs. Since I am a guy (I AM, really!) have to do more work than her in such a scenario so I start at a premium. 25K for my personal work efforts. 30+25 = 75K
Point two: I am a virgin in this field. By field I mean, paid sex! That should command a higher value. Come on, I have seen so many B grade movies. Virgins are always in demand, including our own Virgin at Thirty (VAT)! Just look how many girls like him. So up goes the amount by additional 50K. (My experience on non paid sex? No comments). Now price = 1.25 lakhs (I am actually equaling her!)
Now the question of being ethical in this. Of course I agree this is a service. But should I be paying service tax for this? If some Govt. officials come to know about this, they might want a share of my service. Err. No. I will be an honest tax paying individual. Add 10K towards the tax and the price becomes 1.35 lakh. (Ooh! I EXCEEDED HER! UNBELIEVABLE!)
Then comes when and where? I think it's better to be after 9 PM. My vital stat is not much of a wow. So good if we can do it in the shadows. I am ok with any place as long as I am paid (I think!)
Thus I offer my services at 1.35 lakh rupees. It is for a single night. Conditions apply. No whips allowed inside the room. Only girls need to apply. Protection devices are provided on the house.
Frozen Sun
PS: I am a Mallu with a weird sense of humor. This is all a joke. Nothing serious! I repeat, never take me seriously on iLand. But if someone really thinks she can give me a lakh, I may alter this PS section.
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